THE PRINCESS' HEART

moved

2009-12-01T22:38:00.001+08:00

moved to http://cowklate89.livejournal.com/

not gnna update this anymore (: sooo, pls go to my livejournal to read! THANKS ppl

love you guys.

2009-10-11T10:15:00.002+08:00

LIFE IS NO DRAMA. there is no rewind button.

I promise I am going to put an end to this, I am not going to let us go.

I am sorry.

Love,

helga.

supree

2009-09-13T07:38:00.003+08:00

Days pass us by quickly.

I went on retail therapy with girlfriends this weekend! Thanks to them if not my melbie uni days would be so gloomy and booooring! :) I LOVE SUPREE TTM.

Fashion wise, i like the way melbournians dress. There are a lot of layerings and legging involved. The best part is that their legging is amazing. They have denim-like legging in so many varieties! So when you wear them, it will be your perfect skinny jeans. People will never know you wear legging from far.

And.... they have shorts and skirts in a stretchy kind of material so we could wear it the way we want. higher or lower, up to you.

I am gonna watch FLO-RIDA this monday. be jealous! HAHAHA.

ONE MORE WEEK to SPRING BREAK. can't wait.

xoxo

I miss everyone back home. Wish you all well :)

20th.

2009-08-30T00:23:00.002+08:00

I would like to thank everyone that wished me :) Thanks guys, I was very very touched.

Thanks to Elise, Jess, Cyn, Syl and everyone in castle green! for the birthday surprise via skype. HAHA. i was like "wow! they remembered" u guys even bought me a cake! omg thankssss

Thanks my uni friends, Qijun, Gwyen, Crystal, Peggy, Jocelyn and Deon for celebrating my birthday :) i thought i would spend it alone this year! hahaha i am such a lucky girl to have friends like u guys in melbie!! HUGS

and... thanks Dearie for the flower! i dont like it. I LOVE IT! :)

you always know how to surprise me haha. i love you. xoxo

Mum, thanks!! :)

i love you guys. thanks for making my 20th birthday such a wonderful one.

PS. this is random but inglorious basterds is a gross yet funny movie. weird i know.

I am me.

2009-08-23T00:08:00.004+08:00

I am grateful for having great friends around me. Thanks everyone :)

esp,

Thanks Ken for putting my feelings into words, for "looking through" me and for encouraging me.

"someone's language and speech may be influenced easily but someone's character takes years to change"

Thanks Lin ser & Rui yu for making me laugh today. Haha. although we are miles away, you guys never fail to cheer me up.

Thanks Elise who has always been there for me.

tell me.

I am still me. the old strong, confident, cheerful, "take it easy" Helga.

BOOO.

2009-08-22T21:25:00.002+08:00

Since when are you so insecure.

where did that confidence go?

My dream

2009-08-20T12:28:00.002+08:00

I wanna fly away

to a place somewhere only i know.

I wanna wake up

to a new life everyday.

I wanna live free

without have to worry about anything.

new blank sheet

2009-08-20T12:24:00.002+08:00

Back to blogspot. i'm so sorry i didnt add any tag boards in my wordpress blog. i meant to do it but didn't have the time to do it. read: lazy. LOL.

so yah i will take that blog down and stick to this :)

may be it feels easier to run away with a new blog when you face an obstacle in your life. it's like you got a chance to start all over again with a new blank sheet.

Reflection

2009-08-20T12:23:00.000+08:00

Sometimes we wonder how life would be

if we did it differently.

Now that the wheel is turning,

we ask ourselves.

Sometimes we are so lost

we couldn’t even see our old selves.

How did we get ourselves into this?

How did we end up here?

None to blame.

People made mistakes.

But too many mistakes

dry one’s soul.

Sometimes we wonder,

why did we let the wheels turn fast,

out of control.

Are we scared that we would miss it

if we let it go for a second.

May be,

too many things happen

too little time to think.

May be that’s why people stop thinking. (read: brain)

All the lost souls

2009-08-20T12:21:00.001+08:00

I am looking down

at my little hidden soul.

They said yes

so does it mean yes.

We know deep down

we were one.

Were.

Never gonna turn it back,

never gonna get it back.

There were too many what-ifs,

we didn’t know which one to choose.

Therefore we drifted.

hiding place

2009-06-06T11:55:00.001+08:00

Create in me a clean heart,

As I come away with You.
Wash away all of my stains,
And restore to me the joy I have in You.

You are my hiding place.

melbourne

2009-06-05T16:42:00.003+08:00

It still feels like a dream. I am going MELBOURNE. i feel much more prepared now. thinking about it, melbourne ain't that bad, right? :))

why should i cry! haha nth sad about it.

friends are like stars. you don't always see them but you know they are always with you.

i would miss my roomie and daddy the most.

they are like family to me :) bestest.

you know, true friends stay forever and i know we are friends for life.

I asked God why.

2009-06-01T23:59:00.002+08:00

I went back and ask God why.

Why God. why.

I kept asking.

Why must it be this way?

I know i said it is as You plan.

Just that..

I am too crushed to say thank you.

I have never known,

leaving all my friends behind is so much painful

than breaking up with a boyfriend.

I cry and i don't know why.

I am just too lost.

It's like something precious

is taken away from me.

No matter how many 'okay' said.

I am not okay.

No matter how many 'i miss you' said.

It will never be able to cover up the loss i feel.

I miss you guys.

I miss you. you.

Oh lord, one thing i know.

You are permanent,

You will always be with me :)

and this is just another mountain of obstacle i should climb.

forever & always. not

2009-05-28T23:53:00.004+08:00

how could i forget.

how could i be so dumb to let my guards down.

i should've known.

guys are just guys.

just cause you said forever & always,

it doesn't have to be so.

just cause you treat me nicely,

it doesn't mean anything.

i should have known.

i am not angry.

i am disappointed with myself, cause i judge you wrongly.

but do i have the right to?

who are you to me.

i dont.

love is blind

2009-05-27T23:30:00.003+08:00

loving someone is when you give your heart to him. he may break it but you trust him not to.

I have long forgotten how fragile and vulnerable my heart can be when i open it up to someone. That's why i have this phobia of comitment. Comitment means you are trusting that someone with all your heart. He may break it but he may also mend it. Being in love also makes people do stupid stuffs. It's like... love is all they see. love is blind, people say.

my heart. how would you handle it?

PS. i am not in love. just a thought :)

to love is not always to have

2009-05-16T23:54:00.002+08:00

to love is not always to have :)

I realised that loving doesn't mean having the person. It's like you know him so well that you could see that a love relationship just wouldn't work. Don't tell me to try and don't persuade me to change my mind. It's something hard to explain. I just want him to be happy and I know we wouldn't be happy together.

But i ain't blue at all. I move on fast. practical, i call myself. I am not your typical cry-over-the-moon girl who cant get over a guy even after what, a year. haha.

You. yes you, who are reading this. I wasnt talking about you. dont worry.

lol :)

Prince Charming

2009-05-14T14:44:00.002+08:00

I am a "loud" person. by loud i mean lively, talkative :) I would say - oh he's hawt, hot guy or cute or even sexay haha when i think that a guy has those qualities. I won't even think twice and I won't even bother if the person hears it.

However, it is the opposite when it comes to comitment. I have this fear of comitment. I would comment that A is like this, B is like that, pin-pointing their weakness. Is it just me or is it the community i am living now that influences me to only settle down with the best, the one. prince charming. Mr. The one, someone perfect : christian, capable, attentive, loves us, nice, tall, tan, smart, blah blah blah... It's almost like a prince charming jumping out of a Disney story book.

It's not like i don't realise that my mr. the one doesn't exist. I just keep dreaming that that kind of guy would come to sight one day.

The kind of guy that has imperfections i love, which makes him the perfect one :)

Taken

2009-04-27T02:03:00.002+08:00

I loves sundays! yay

Guess what, i completed the amount pledged for the building fun today! haha yes. if you are wondering, I was very touched by Pst. John Avanzini's sermon :)) and guess what. i got a $50 bucks for nothing! today. haha.. actually, it is for intoducing a friend to my another friend that teaches GP tuition. Mind you, i didnt purposely go and search for students for him. It's just so coincidental that my this friend called me and asked me about a good place to have GP tuition.

Praise God! :)

TAKEN is freaking good!! goshhh it's like so action-packed that your eyes would stick to the big screen ALL the time. hahaa. It has a really strong plot and the characters played well too. uhh love it!!

love the day.

love has never been so awesome

2009-04-25T10:46:00.003+08:00

OK guys, here's a short post :)

My voice is back! haha ohh love it love it. i can talk again, i can sing again. Thank God! my wisdom tooth is growing. oh gosh. its not like the pain is unbearable, but it's just that i can't really eat properly, especially when come to savouring a fried chicken. my fave!! haha :D

Church and cell group has been great. I have lots to learn but I am happy with it. Coming back to God has never been so awesome :)

HAHA. here's the funny one. I don't know how to differentiate a merc and a toyota. okay, i don't exactly not know how to, but it's just when you get used to seeing a black merc or a blue one, you would think that grey merc doesnt exist. haha okay or is it just me? sorry ivan. lol

I AM MISSING SOME PEOPLE NOW.

my lovely parents

ever-busy-sister haha!

the guys in army (ken, jun da, lin ser, rui yu, wk)

von!

the rest of 07s25 people :)

xoxo,

love you guys.

My feelings changes every seconds.

Once it's gone, you can never get it back.

If you liked it,

you should've put a ring on it.

It's too late to catch me now.

i want nobody nobody but you

2009-04-20T21:59:00.002+08:00

This sore throat is driving me nuts. it's definitely an enemy to someone who talks, screams and sings a lot! haha

but yah basically, i lose my voice... so please, please be better soon! :)

i am missing the guys. i hope army treats them well oops haha. and 07s25! how are u guys doing! gosh i miss those sch moments!

*loving the song nobody!

never know

2009-04-14T02:03:00.002+08:00

If only you could see like i do

then we would be perfect for each other.

But I can't spell it out for you.

No, It's never gonna be that simple.

Or Is it too late to catch you now.

I'll never know.

I miss the guys now that they are in army!! gosh :(

haha guess i should consider melbourne lol

Unis dilemma

2009-04-08T20:25:00.002+08:00

I went for the leaders' Prayer Meeting at Jurong last night. wow. the atmosphere is just great. different and very impactful! haha

Anyway, I have been stressing over my university issue. oh gosh, yes August is just around the corner. People kept telling me to follow my heart, but I myself don't even know where my heart is telling me to go to. Partly, I wanna stay in Singapore. It is a place where I grow up, where my friends are, where I feel at home and where my church is. Yet another part of me is telling me to experience the whole new world.

Plus...

my mum kept pushing me to go for Aussie due to some "family things" where good names are involved. i know. i rolled my eyes too at the point where good names are involved. this is my life. yes in the modern context, but not in my parents world.

I put everything before You, O Lord.

Come and strengthen me,

give me wisdom.

Sometimes when we touch

2009-04-05T23:18:00.000+08:00

You ask me if I love you
And I choke on my reply.
I'd rather hurt you honestly
Than mislead you with a lie.
And who am I to judge you
On what you say or do?
I'm only just beginning to see the real you.

And sometimes when we touch,
The honesty's too much.
And I have to close my eyes and hide.
I wanna hold you til I die
Til we both break down and cry
I wanna hold you till the fear in me subsides

Olivia Ong

Being sick for a week or so

2009-04-03T14:46:00.002+08:00

Hi ya my dead blog. I shall revive you now. haha!

I hate being sick. ugh I was down with throat infection, which caused me to have fever for a few days. Then, i got this diarrhoea. I'm even not sure myself whether it is diarrhoea or what caused it. I just know that it has certainly tortutured me. Yes If you are wondering, I was sick since last week and I am still recovering.

I guess this is all because of all the late nights, out everyday since i got back and unhealthy ways of eating haha! (lots of chocs, snacks... you know what i mean)Being sick has certainly gave me plenty of time to reflect upon my life. All the things that I have done, all the people i have met.

It's hard to be sick and to be alone here in a foreign country. Yes i have friends that care. Still, i miss my mum so. i miss home. I love my friends, my hommies. Yet it's just different to be sick at home, being spoilt my mum. It's stupid that I am turning 20 and I am still a crybaby whenever I get sick. haha! I am such a sentimentalist.

I would hug my blue-little-cat-pillow my mum gave to me and cried, thinking of my mum, home. gosh. I am starting to crack as I am typing. Yes i miss her dearly. i miss home a lot. HAHA. I am certainly a girl that has to be kept busy otherwise I would have all these "i miss home" feeling. It's also prolly because I am outta school, the guys are in army, von cs went back indo, hommies are busy with school, and daddy ray is freaking busy too. Luckily, i still have my CG :)

I am a flower quickly fading,

Here today and gone tomorrow.

Still you hear me when I'm calling,

Lord you catch me when I'm falling.

And you told me who I am.

I am Yours.

Sober

2009-03-11T13:14:00.002+08:00

Aahh, the sun is blinding,

I stayed up again.

Oohh, I am finding

That's not the way I want my story to end.

I'm safe

Up high

Nothing can touch me

But why do I feel this party's over?

No pain

Inside

You're my protection

But how do I feel this good sober?

I don't wanna be the girl who has to fill the silence,

The quiet scares me 'cause it screams the truth.

Please don't tell me that we had that conversation,

When I won't remember, save your breath, 'cause what's the use?

Pink (excerpt)

2009-03-03T02:34:00.002+08:00

I'm so hoping that As results will be out this friday. its just that.. i dont like the whole suspense thing. haha.

anyway, last night was horrendeous! gosh it was like 3 am and i forgot to tell my hommies where i went and i left my phone in the car.

so there i go, 34 misscalls. i wanna say sorry to those who were worried last night. sorry for making u guys worried. i have learnt my lesson :(

i was just at von's house, as usual hanging out with the sec sch click.

lady gaga is just the new hot. haha

Not that I don’t care about you

Just that things got so complica- eh eh

I met somebody cute and funny

Got each other and that’s funny, eh eh.

xoxo

i am not that FREE afterall

2009-02-22T22:51:00.002+08:00

WEDNESDAY:

went out with junda & wee kheng. minus ken! :(

THURSDAY:

Vincent

FRIDAY:

went out for lunch + shopping wf cyn and syl.

CG in the evening.

SATURDAY:

went shopping wf sis! then had dinner n went drinking at clarke.

ugh. the clinic.

SUNDAY:

church. bugis wf elise.

NAH. i am not that free afterall! ha.

airport

2009-02-18T23:30:00.002+08:00

I'M BACK :) BIG SMILE.

yeah, i am back and i am busy. ugh but i love meeting with diff people everyday haha. it's like there are just tons of things to catch up with and there are so many people i miss badly!

it's just great to hang out with junda n weekheng today. gosh junda looked kindda hot with his army uniform lol. ok not really. and i think weekheng have lost some pounds. we went for dinner and caught up about lots of things like hows army, ken, what other frens are doing, jj and bla bla bla GOSSIPS.

btw KEN. WHERE ARE YOU. YOU ARE LIKE M.I.A! we miss you, come back. haha and..

ANGELA, i am sorry, real sorry ehem.

anyway, i had this strange encounter at the airport today. there was this woman. she suddenly came up to me and told me all about her son! omg. i was like what?! and she was like, can my son know you, may i know your parents.. where do you live. ugh. i was really horrified i didnt say a thing. haha!

xoxo. MEET UP SOON GUYS.

yes, helga does MISS HER JC LIFE!

HOME SWEET HOME

2009-02-16T14:14:00.002+08:00

It's been 2 months since i flew back to indo and finally.. i'll be going back to SG this wed :))

2 months certainly feels like a long time yea. Initially, i didnt get used to the things back home (results of being 'domesticated' in SG haha!).

1. Not being able to go out wherever and whenever i want.

omg. trust me, first few weeks was bad. i was like, i wanna go shopping at this moment then another moment i just wanna hang out at starbucks with my fav books or sth. but then, i couldnt be out on my own and my chauffer was busy with my siblings and the road was super congested. so i gave up my freedom. haha! not on weekend tho.

2. Stupid mosquitoes!

i mean it. Mosquitoes have been my greatest enemy ever since i was young. ugh, they are just here and there in indo. the worst thing is, i lost lots of my beauty sleep because of it :(

3. BIG HOUSE means lots of exercise

i could probably lose weight just by walking up and down. in fact, i did lose a kg. haha

4. Intolerable noise

My younger bro and sis are like cats and dogs. they just can be at peace wf each other. worse, my sis is a super noisy lil brat and my bro is at his puberty (so, lots of anger involved). LOLS. BUT I STILL LOVE THEM LOADS.

5. Lingo

i had this stupid thought, what if i lose my ability to speak english if i stay here long enuf! lol

6. TV Programmes

i have no idea what they were talking about. omg i was like so foreign to whatever latest trend or music they have. haha! and their dramas (called 'sinetron') were like so cruel. i remembered thinking, what if my sis learnt from them.

7. People

Being busy body and the craze of staring at people, head-to-toe. haha only SOME of course.

okay, despite whatever you read above, all and all, indo is still a good place to be :)

the food is great and i don't need to walk. haha yeah it still is great to be back home! i even think of not returning to SG this week. till then :)

CHRISTMAS 2008

2009-01-08T00:49:00.003+08:00

Helloo! Happy 2009, guys :))

So.. i have been MIA for a long time huh. a month.okay, what happened was that i went back to my hometown, medan, and was infected by this.. hmm, lazy bug. hahaa all i did the whole day was just, eat, sleep, and play game. ALL WAS great. until...

one fine day, i dont know why!! my laptop was suddenly down. gosh, worst ever - holiday w/o my computer.

then i brought my laptop back to sg to get repaired and thats it. here i am w/o my OWN computer. yah i mean whats with my brother playing DOTA the whole day with his own computer, my sis watching desperate housewives on her own laptop and my mum doing her job on her own computer. oh, just my luck :(

anyway, i spent my christmas and new year eve in... SG. okay, not that exciting. hahaha no. it's really great to b back to sg. i had christmas dinner with my sec sch friends. it was great! and very heart warming. and guess what the girls, i mean not including me, they cooked. we had turkey with raspberry sauce, sausages, baked potatoes with onions, fish, and champagne. perfect :):)

i am missing my friends, my sch and everything right now. just be save and all the best in army guys!

you know what, i always search for your face in the crowds.

hoping to see you.

i thought all had gone.

but even after the last bus rides had ended,

i still am hoping

deep down that you will turn around

say hello-

i am such a fool. i never believe in such feelings

yet i sigh whenever i see shadow of yours

my junior. i should've called

so that you couldn't conquer me with that smile of yours.

I MISS MY SCHOOL DAYS!

Class chalet & JJC Seniors' Prom

2008-12-04T21:21:00.006+08:00

Hiyaa :))

so here are the photos taken during chalet and prom!

i know. yummilicious right. haha thanks to zf, zk,

wee leong, chen2 and all the other guys.

looking cosy there

the thing about chalet is...

being able to play arcade till the wee hours! :)

my best "mama" haha

i miss everyone! yeah i miss 07S25.

omg, this 2 years has been super fun, super cool n super crazy

to study together wf u guys.

PROM. i look amazing thank you. haha

kidding XD

MS LIN! ahh how i miss first year lit

MR CHUA! the teacher that we admire the most :)

MR CHUA! haha sorry for our bad bad physics.

OUR BELOVED. MR WEE!

our mr random mr handsome mr funny. haha omg

the two years as his civics class had been super random if you know what i mean.

and funny... i will never forget his class.

MS YEE! hey there ms sunshine.

THE GANK

I LOVE EVERYONE! uuh. i hate graduating. i miss school - going lectures &classes together, laughing together in the class, studying together, do stupid things... and the "guys". gosh, i will surely miss you guys next year, for sure.

SICK =((

2008-11-26T23:46:00.002+08:00

i am really suffering now :(( @#$%! yeah, i am like real sick now, fever, bad flu, hives plus i lost my voice. right just perfect. haha. how bad is that! I KNOW. i hate being sick and not able to go out (to have FUN - esp after my As!)

anyway, the shopping session with the guys went pretty well. except. it was really tiring to move from taka to vivo back to taka and then to marina square. hahaa. i was constantly complaining how tiring it was to shop with them lols. forgive me :)

but it was great to shop with them and to see their indecisive-vain side. haha

opps. i AM NOT SUPPOSED to turn on my computer. i have to rest! so bye.

and pray for my health to get better. AMEN.

i love my nails.

2008-11-24T23:19:00.002+08:00

okay, this is gonna be a looong post. so be prepared! haha.

right after the phy paper, my class had a three-day-two-night chalet. gosh it was FUNNNN. haha yeah whats with all the squeezing to have a place to sleep, dirty toilet, night cycling, bbq, late night arcade and loitering around the downtown east complex, have breakfast together and... yeah, learn how to cycle. haha :D right. the last one only applied to me.

and i fell down from the bike. yeah how clever of me. but people say no pain no gain, right?! :))

after the whole chalet thing, i only allow myself to sleep for a mere 2 hours. i gotta rush to EXPO -like again- for ASIA CONFERENCE 2008. mind you its everyday from 19 to 23 NOV and... we have to queue from like 1 or 3 pm while the event will start at 6!

but it's all worthwhile. moreover, A.R Bernard was sooo goood. two thumbs up, man! he was such a charismatic speaker and his message was very impactful. one word. GREAT.

so yeah you can imgine how tired i was for the whole of last week. haha :) sigh... all the rushing and queueing... actually, i felt really horrible aft chalet. so tired, i felt like fainting!

the week ended and i decided to give myself a treat after all the lack of sleep and restlessness. i went manipedi with von :):) it was fab! i always love a good body pampering session.

we went to shop afterwards and taraah i got my prom dress.

gonna go shopping with the guys tmr. see yah around.

xoxo,

HELGA.

SECOND WEEK

2008-11-11T22:27:00.002+08:00

Literature : ahh. i dont know what to say

Dickens essay was great. but i was not sure bout my poem and the play. ohh :(( the poem was kindda like... what do they mean? haha. and the play...i wasn't really sure what the essay wanted me to write.

Physics P2 : pretty ok.

was alright. except for the data analysis. it was harder than p3 actually, but i think i did alright.

Chemistry P2 : hmm..

they were so cunning! haha qn 4 consists of 21 marks, the most marks for the whole paper. it was also the hardest qn for the whole paper. shld be okay.

week 1

2008-11-08T19:10:00.002+08:00

Chemistry P3 : was one bad naughty naughty paper

ooh. tragedy! it was tough, unexpectedly :(:( i was like flipping the pages, trying to choose easy qns to do. but what... every qns was hard, except for 3. oh no., what if i miss my A???

Mathematics P2 : ermm, yah :)

tougher than p1, i think (altho my teacher said that p1 was tougher) haha. but anyways, it should b okay. i did my best to secure my precious A for maths! lols

still, i feel scared now. what is i got all Bs? oh well...

A level

2008-11-04T21:13:00.002+08:00

a good rest after a well done paper is always the best! :))

haha

GP P1 : was pretty easy

Thank God, what i predicted came out. but i was haunted with this "Dream" question which came out for my Os too (it ruined my english grade then) haha.

GP P2 : surprisingly tough!

gosh! i barely have time to finish every sections and i was frantically skimming thru the passage for the answer the whole time. haihh, but i dont think i did that badly.

Physics P3 : was alright

i was quite surprised actually. (Q1, draw the inverse diagram and the work done. Q7. calculate the ratio of the speed of Te and Zr) Q1 was kinnda unusual cos they rarely ask us to draw such diagram referred from a diagram above.

ahh, i almost panicked looking at the simple qn. haha but the part b calculations were kindda tricky, esp qn 6 and 7. errm. i was lucky enough to know how to do :)

Mathematics P1 : way to go babe!! :):)

i always feel real good after a well done maths paper. i wouldn't say that the paper was very very easy but i would say that it was rather easy, with a some demanding why-kind of-qns.

Guys. way to goo! dont give up, WORK HARD YEA.

chem p3 is this thurs, can't wait! hehe

RASHES.

2008-11-01T22:20:00.002+08:00

It's not looking good at all. A lvl is just around the corner and here i am, having rashes all over my face! =(( and worse, i dont even know what caused it.

@#$%! ugghh.. it sucks.

imagine having a small red spots all over ur face. not only that... its sooo itchy.

anyway, i did my SAT chem and maths lvl 2 today. not too bad, haha.

CG

2008-10-25T02:01:00.002+08:00

The CG meeting has really blessed me in many ways :)

it's this relationship with GOD that will never die.

i miss skool

2008-10-22T01:05:00.002+08:00

ugh. I hate study leave.

i really miss skool! :( graduating is good. but leaving the school, the teachers and all my friends are just too unbearable. i really gotta study hard.

i am sad. not.

2008-10-20T23:26:00.012+08:00

So, It's been long since the last time i posted something huh. i have been so busy with all the papers, revisions and stuff...

Besides, it's really difficult to post with disappointments (if you know what i mean) all over your head. i mean... people dont really like to be fed with emo posts right. they might get bored. haha

I am not going US.

yes, u saw it right u heard it right. i am not going...

i feel hurt even when i am writing this. like you could just tell me that u guys actually dont like the idea of me going US.

yah..good job! told me only after i stupidly apply for SAT 2, wasted my precious mugging time doing research about US colleges and foolishly feeling excited about being there? ugh.

i have always appeared to be so strong. so mature. so patient. in front of you guys. but that doesnt mean i can tolerate this... like seriously.

i didnt wanna kick up a lot of fuss and be childish when you told me to understand. but you could just tell me from the beginning rite! before i wasted my time planning to take all sorts of tests and everything.

"you could just take it right? i mean its just a test.. it might be helpful anyway.. someday"

this phrase is all too familiar. yah, i dun need to study for the tests. i will score As right away. i dun have my As coming up. i have lots of time to spare to take my SATs and TOEFL (while i dun really need them actually)...

its just the society they live in i guess, where schooling is never difficult, getting into uni is an easy thing and sometimes... they are the absolute decision-makers and we, kids are a mere "unfeeling" listeners.

i know i am one lucky kid. its not that im not grateful. just that... i dont know where to vent my anger and disappointments if not to pour them down here.

i love you guys. but i am human too, with feelings...

sorry. i just need a space to cry.

i have been a perfect "princess-y" daughter right?

no thank you, *JOHN

2008-10-01T17:32:00.001+08:00

I never said I loved you, John:
   Why will you tease me day by day,
And wax a weariness to think upon
      With always "do" and "pray"?

You know I never loved you, John;
   No fault of mine made me your toast:
Why will you haunt me with a face as wan
      As shows an hour-old ghost?

I dare say Meg or Moll would take
   Pity upon you, if you'd ask:
And pray don't remain single for my sake
      Who can't perform that task.

I have no heart?—Perhaps I have not;
   But then you're mad to take offence
That I don't give you what I have not got:
      Use your own common sense.

Let bygones be bygones:
   Don't call me false, who owed not to be true:
I'd rather answer "No" to fifty Johns
      Than answer "Yes" to you.

Let's mar our pleasant days no more,
   Song-birds of passage, days of youth:
Catch at today, forget the days before:
      I'll wink at your untruth.

Let us strike hands as hearty friends;
   No more, no less; and friendship's good:
Only don't keep in view ulterior ends,
      And points not understood

In open treaty. Rise above
   Quibbles and shuffling off and on:
Here's friendship for you if you like; but love,—
      No, thank you, John.

Christina Rosetti

PS. i hope you understand.

i have made myself clear here afterall. we are "just friend"

so what

2008-09-24T00:01:00.004+08:00

So, so what?
I'm still a rock star
I got my rock moves
And I don't need you.

PINK

yours "sincerely"

2008-09-17T23:22:00.005+08:00

so i didnt go school for like 2 days already. not like i really intended to skip of course. haha I MISS SKOOL NOW :))

how am i suppose to look at you. after everything that i saw.

after i finally understand the matter so clearly.

now i see the real you. now i know.

but what am i supposed to say?

thank you perhaps

for opening up my mind that i finally saw the REAL you?

i was blind for a moment.

my gratitude. you SAVED me.

yeah, like.... REALLY.

weekend madness

2008-09-14T19:01:00.003+08:00

This post-prelims relaxation is just so fab. and nice to know you vin vin hehe :)

MIN MIN & Elise!

VIN VIN & I.

daddy! ah the candle was just a perfect lighting.

Alvin, me and raymond.

other pixs will be uploaded as soon as daddy ray sent them to me. xoxo

WOODS

2008-09-14T00:11:00.002+08:00

i am in love with the WOODS restaurant & bar!! it just oozes this sense of relaxation, plus romantic-cum-sensual atmosphere. haha oh well.

Ben, Daddy Ray, Elise, Alvin and i went to have dinner today. then we went drinking at WOODS afterwards. oh we were simply MAD!! hahaha. i think alcohol do dissolve our problems, yeah indeed. lols

before the dinner, i was having my starbucks time. gosh. guess who met in holland v!*** ah, i am drop dead curious now. haha

anyway, tmr might be my holland v time again. till tmr guys.

so sing a happy song and turn it around !

2008-09-12T16:48:00.004+08:00

i am in a good form, like finally. i just feel SO GOOD today :))

ah, you have no idea how bad my post-prelims mental state was. i was like in a total emotional wreck. okay, prolly not like i wanted to commit something stupid or anything.

but really.. i was very down. that foreboding feeling was killing me, and my mind did nothing to calm me down either. worse still. my wildest imagination drove me mad, got me from bad to worse. for days i would just feel so tense and stressed up that i had a very high intolerable sensitivities. HAHA.

but i feel okay now.

anyway, Andre came JJ today. i could barely remember how he was like when we first met. haha it's been almost 2 years (or 3) since we knew each other ya.

i prolly should go dig up daddy Ray's sec sch year book - just to remind me of how Dre, Ben and DADDY looked like last time. these guys really do grow up to be such hunks huh! LOL.

and Dre... HAVE A FABULOUS BIRTHDAY :))

oh, how much i miss my RETAIL THERAPY sessions!

a get together night

2008-09-07T01:43:00.004+08:00

ah. feel way much better after drinking wf von, hen, ter and ming at WOODS. we had a really great get together time :))

i don't care whether it's the alcohol or the quality time we spent together. all i know now is just that - I FEEL WAY BETTER NOW. haha! i had been like so stern and gloomy these few days.

i feel so dumb right now to think back like i had thought of giving up my As. gosh! haha... how could i be so pessimistic. like seriously. i had never allow myself to cry upon a grade. prelims is just a small thing in your life. GET OVER IT, babe!

and... jun hao! are you stalking me or sth. HAHA! cos i kept bumping into you wherever i go - town or even places like west mall !!

what do you care?

i wanna fly back home!

2008-09-05T13:05:00.004+08:00

These few days had been so gloomy for me :(

i am really hating physics! prelims! a level!
oh. whatever.

thank God, i had wonderful people around me. without them, i would prolly have fallen deep down and broke into pieces. ah, how fragile could i be sometimes.

i know it's just a small matter and i know this would go unnoticed in just a matter of ...days? months? years? yet my heart still feels uneasy.

thanks dada for pacifying me with good news. haha. thanks a ser for cheering me up with lame jokes. and thanks roomie for always being there for me. oh, she could be so bimbo at times she made me laugh non-stop. LOL.

pray

2008-09-04T17:14:00.003+08:00

i can only HOPE that things work out alright.

dont tell me

2008-09-03T22:21:00.001+08:00

Helga is sad :(

a love to kill

2008-09-03T00:08:00.004+08:00

so, mum and sis went back ystd. ah, welcome back to reality, baby! haha. no more shop-a-thon, no more buy-all-you-want and no more take-cab-everywhere-even-from-taka-to-far east. hahaha.

I KNOW. it sounds like crazy. but thats how shopping wf my mum. endless FUNNN!! :))

now now. i feel scared even wf the thought of going back skool to receive my papers on monday. oh. what nightmare!

is this love or just another crush.
you got me waiting
you gimme hope
was that really you speaking?

LOVE-ACHE KILLS. i should have know.

happy birthday

2008-09-01T02:22:00.006+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MYSELF. haha! thanks guys for making yesterday party a success. i certainly heart you guys loads muach muach.

thanks for coming and making everything so fun and all :))

oohh. but i would never forget the gurl (*eyes rolled. ELISE) who got me singing my own birthday song at FISH & CO. STAGE!! can you imagine! like on stage. with lots of eyes looking at youu! gosh. haha but thanks huh. and i absolutely the love the YOU'RE BEAUTIFUL song <33

i wanna thank those people who gave me surprises. von cs with their surprise bdae cake, s25 cs. with their special "you're beautiful" song dedication and the elise cs with their surprise sing-your-own-bdae-song session.

wells, cousins! you are loved. and mum, dad, sis, bro. you know how much i love you guys. xoxo
and people who wishes me happy birthday, THANK YOU!! esp alvin for calling me at 2.45 am. gawd. haha and vin, for his lame " imagine you're the bus driver" joke. wateva. haha!

anyway. the pix are up on friendster and facebook. here are just some important pics hehe! not that others are not important of course!

she flew here esp for me. gosh, i wouldnt know what to do w/o her.

my lovely roomiiee

THE FOUR

THE INDOs

THE GORGEOUS GURLS!

AND THE HUNKY GUYS!

of course, excluding me

COUSINS.

close up pix of the presents will be up. stay tuned.

thanks for the chinese book, bikini, the jam and the DARE! haha

JJ PEOPLE RAWKS MY LIFE!

Thanks cousins!

how lovely. how practical. ooh haha

EVERYONE.

ah. i shall go and sleep now.

i love you guys, wherever you are. GOD bless.

XOXO

birthday surprise

2008-08-29T01:22:00.002+08:00

GOSH. THANKS GUYS!! :))
i am so touched!!

hen, elise and my other hommies gave me a birthday surprise. haha actually i had this "feeling" like i will be punked or sth. and... i was watching a korean drama, mind you.

then suddenly taaarahhhh!
they rushed in singing a birthday song with 19 birthday pancakes. god. so sweet! :)
CANT STOP SMILING NOW.

YEY. these are those sweet people! haha :)

from left : clarista, jessica, cynthia, me, elise, hendry.

the second row : ricky, rudolvo and tien jie.

and i love love the jacket and the cute boat thing!

looking forward to saturday night dinner!! :))

sweet message

2008-08-28T23:05:00.002+08:00

ARRGHH. i screwed up my physics paper 1. ughh!!! i was completely utterly absolutely stunned when i looked at how the diff the paper was. oohhh. HELL!! it was my last paper but i didnt feel good at all. yea not at all!

i dont know. i have bad feelings about my sciences. gawd :(
ohh well well, i just hate a level.

anyway, tmr is teachers' day :)
so ying ming and i went town to get sth for our form teacher (didnt wanna reveal the sth here, in case... he stumbled upon my blog) HAHA. yey.

and my mom will be here tmrr!! gosh. like tmr. CANT WAIT

my bro sent me this message :
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, SISTER! sorry yah, i cant be there to celebrate your birthday with you. God bless.

SO SWEET right! for a guy-of-a-few-words like him, it seems like a dream for him to be able to send me such sweet message

Crush

2008-08-27T23:29:00.003+08:00

I hung up the phone last night
something happened for the first time.
Deep inside,
It was a rush. What a rush.

Cause the possibility that you would ever
feel the same way about me
It's just too much. Just too much.

Why do I keep running from the truth?
All I ever think about is you.
You got me hypnotized
So mesmerized and I just got to know

Do you ever think
When you're all alone,
All that we can be.
Where this can go.

Am I crazy or falling in love?
Is it really just another crush.

Do you catch a breath when I look at you?
Are you holding back like the way I do.
But I know this crush
Ain't goin' away.

excerpt - David Archuletta

not now at least. yet..

HAIRCUT

2008-08-26T20:53:00.002+08:00

yey. hereby i present the long awaited CLASS PHOTO OF 07S25! :)) hehe

i lurve this pic the most!!

oh. prelims. 3 weeks seem to ZOOM pass us when we are constantly bombarded by endless killer papers!! haha.

anyway. i got myself a bangs (or fringe or whatever u wanna call it). actually its a surprise, like i wasnt intending to tell anyone except of course my beloved roomiee! but then. i asked angela n ying ming's opinion today. ah. i was just too nervous to get a new haircut.

aww. i look like a cutie kid now (the image which i am not used to of course). i was like, is this how its suppose to look like? so cutiee kinda.. gosh. haha!

then, some of you will ask me. WHY HAIR CUT? hearbroken. new image. LOL. i dont know. i guess lil bit of here and there* :)

happy ending

2008-08-25T19:44:00.002+08:00

This is the way that we love,
Like it's forever.
Then live the rest of our life,
But not together.

tell me i am wrong boy :(

monday blues

2008-08-25T19:19:00.003+08:00

doing PHYSICS paper was like hell. i was like, wth are they talking about. did i learn this before? i can't pray enough to get myself a pass.

anyway. it's maths tomorrow. this inflicts kindda nervous excitement in me. HAHA. i always love my maths.
not like physics. oh. lets just hope that it will take care of itself.

ah. monday morning. monday blues.
pity it didnt started out right.
and now i began to wonder.
did you see me when i'm not there.
did you look at me like the way i want you to.

he loves me he loves me not

2008-08-24T20:27:00.007+08:00

Technology makes knowing interesting others a breeze :)

oh gosh. so now we know that that acs starbucks guy is somehow related to my friend. ah, just how fate links us all together! someone will LURVEE to hear this.

anyway, i met indra and his gf again today in holland v. you see, my day is spent mugging for physics. and i was like trying very hard to keep my 'interest' in physics. oh hell. haha

my star this month :
"A guy friend you got close to this summer will soon turn into a crush.

You two have great chemistry, but he's afraid to take things to the next level. CONFESS your feelings by SEPT 24- do it, or risk losing him!"

ah yes! my starbucks time

2008-08-23T22:29:00.002+08:00

STARBUCKS TIME wf my lovess. elise and hendry :))
we mug from 11 to 5 plus plus. then i went dinner in OLIO! wf hen. haha. he complained about the laksa spagetti. lol

and gosh. elise was doing the arrow-in-the-tissue thing again today. she wrote : NOT BAD. that guy behind her. hahaha! gosh. riteee. i was thinking abt the same thing too actually.

ah ya. and i met indra at the foodcourt today. hmm!

alrite. so after dinner and all, hen came over to my house. he met up wf my other hommies and yah, so they all know each other now! hehe :))

LOVES HOLLAND V.

i learn sth today. to console a person, you mustn't speak nicely. or the person would CRYY..
rite elise. LOL.

ARMANI

2008-08-22T21:13:00.005+08:00

ahh. weekend. LIKE FINALLY. prelims is really so so so very suffocating!!
no late nights. no shopping. no drinking time. no having fun. lesser time to talk to 'people'. basically it all just involves MUGGING and more mugging and more mugging. mug till you drop.

well, lets just put prelims aside for awhile. so today, i met up wf my loveliest cousin - ever!! :))
she passed me food and a new dress from my mum. oh gosh..! so excited to try it on HAHA.
then, WE GOT SOME SHOPPING DONE. right. only some...

i was shopping like a mad woman, okay. blame prelims. ooh and she was soo sweet. she got me this armani shirt for an early birthday present. I LOVE IT I LOVE IT. thanks woman! xoxo

why wont the pen roll down the slope?
because it's stationary = stationery. LOL.

MAMA told me what i should know
too much candy gonna rot your soul
if he loves you, let him go
'cause love gonna get you down!

ending

2008-08-20T20:41:00.003+08:00

I am so in love with Gavin Ewart's poems now. oh gosh! they are just so witty and humorous.
I couldnt stop myself from smiling and laughing while i was doing his poem - Ending for prelims today. it was soo funny... HAHA!

literature paper totally elevate my mood. yey!! :))

physics was alright. yeah. it wasnt like super killer or like whatt..
ahh, i dont know. like x ray. wth. how am i suppose to explain how it works or whateverrr it was asking. haha!

oh wells, at least it was a way better paper than like say, my normal lecture tests. AT LEAST. i made sense you see! hahaha. i tried..
it's just hard for me to make sense outta what i learn in physics. like forces or electromagnetism or quantum bla bla blah. oh, heck.

Ending

The love we thought would never stop

now cools like a congealing chop.

The kisses that were hot as curry

are bird-pecks taken in a hurry.

The hands that held electric charges

now lie inert as four moored barges.

The feet that ran to meet a date

are running slow and running late.

The eyes that shone and seldom shut

are victims of a power cut.

The parts that then transmitted joy

are now reserved and cold and coy.

Romance, expected once to stay,

has left a note saying GONE AWAY.

Gavin Ewart (b.1916)

life journey

2008-08-18T20:55:00.002+08:00

i often accidentally injure myself nowadays :((

sharts! i cut myself while i was clipping my nails. stupid I KNOW. haha then... i accidentally pressed my stupid wound on my finger real hard and i got a BLUE BLACK as a result. gross.

is this a sign of foreboding or i am just getting older and more careless. geez

and.... the US universities' requirements are driving me mad!!
why isnt A level certificate accepted there. ughh! i am supposed to take my TOEFL, SAT 1 & 2.

like why am i even in JC and take my A papers while to be in a SAT preparatory course will be much more beneficial :(
oh wells. i got to meet wonderful people in JC, at least - like what my friends said.
haha! self glorification? LOL.

right, denny - i love your mooncakes thanks again!

i am running away...
just to find you standing in front of me once again

DADDY'S BDAE DINNER

2008-08-17T19:55:00.003+08:00

YAYYAYYYAYAYAY!! :) Yesterday we celebrated our dearest dearest daddy's birthday. hehe. was kindda surprise for him cos we told him that it would be our usual weekend dinner.

and... benjaminnnnn. you r so dead the next time i see you!! haha.

OUR DEAREST DADDY! <33

YOUR BOYFRIEND IS LOOKING! LOL.

LOVE LOVE YOU WOMAN.

we got him this HOT surprise tee

OKAY. this is random. its just a pix of how i actually study in STARBUCKS!

and a surprise MATCHA MATCHA CAKE.

he was totally clueless about our great plan :)

HAHA. so you see i had fabulous weekend.

thursday night : out with my old friends. friday : went out to study wf ken. saturday night : had daddy's bdae dinner and sunday : starbucks time.

right. today elise and i were doing stupid things again in starbucks. haha! and PLAYA PLAYA. soo hot you are indeed :p

i am so not ready for chem on monday :( well well.

i hope tomorrow will take care of itself .

2008-08-16T00:33:00.005+08:00

PIX FROM MY FRIDAY NIGHT DATE

wf the medan girls! and of course. Alvin.. haha

Vin. u r THE MAN. haha!

Diah, Me, Elfrida, Sonia and Yolanda

The GURLS plus ALVIN.

i wanna have a SUMMER HOLIDAY too!! haha. sounds like a lot of fun lols. and... a good reason to travel around.

i love durian mooncake

2008-08-16T00:14:00.002+08:00

Starbucks time wf ken today :))

didnt know that there will be soo many JJ people there. gosh and the JJ J1 guy that i always met there... were we playing hide and seek? lols. cos we were like stealing looks from one another.
haha!

and i met BEV. i miss AA1 all over again now!!

then another surprise surprise!
DEN came my house at night. like oh gosh! more surprises to come? haha. anyway thanks for the moon cake, den :)

DE WARAKU!

2008-08-15T01:04:00.008+08:00

YEY!! finally i managed to meet my old frens :)) hehe

i know. you prolly think - in the midst of prelims? madness.

so, i met them -Alvin, Elfrida, Sonia, Diah and Yolanda (geez, hit me if i got ur name wrong) around 6.30 @ Central. we ate pasta de waraku!! gosh. heard so much good reviews from elise, so i was kindda excited to be there.

and taraahh... it was yummy-licious!! but i would say that the portion is way too small for me. (okay, when i say that it's small, it would mean : very very small! cos ya know, i am not a v big eater! haha)

then we headed to clarkey TCC for dessert - my scrumptious tirah-misu! haha :))
we had lots and lots of guessing games, which i am really bad at. Sonia totally led the way, man. LOL. PICTURES COMING RIGHT UP.

i was asking Da how US is like and she was like ,"very diff from SG of course, and it's v fun to study there!"
ooh. i dont know.

Mum was like "i dont really like UCLA" haha! just how on earth did she figure out that UCLA have this kindda 'vibrant' school life where all the indos would just show off their expensive cars, flash their branded stuffs and bla bla bla...

still. i like UC. so prolly i would choose like UC-Berkeley. oh i am really not sure! or U Penn. haha if my SAT could make it.

but of course, its not that i wanna leave my SG frens but i would say that i dun wish to go thru another year of stressful sporean kindda lifestyle. haha!

i love you guys, of course.

like eww

2008-08-12T21:51:00.002+08:00

I ACCIDENTALLY CUT MYSELF :((

gosh this is stupid. i cut myself while i was cutting my orange. I KNOW. its like what!

but this time i guess, its kindda serious. the wound was huge, my skin was kindda collapsed and my blood just kept dripping. oh i just didnt know what to do.

luckily i have my chubii here haha!
love you woman muach muach. you are such a good doctor :)

XOXO

2008-08-12T19:57:00.002+08:00

i couldnt sleep well ystd night. gosh! i have no idea why.
i was like "sleep now sleep now please... tmr is my paper.." haha! i woke up with this super bad dark-eye-circle the next morning.

fortunately, the paper went well :))
and i feel so blessed to have wonderful friends supporting me all the time. thanks guys for all the good-luck! hehe. I HEART YOU PEOPLE XOXO

i guess i've got enough.
nothing left
to be said to be done.

All the people in your life who've come and gone
some let you down, some hurt your pride.

Better put it all behind you
cause life goes on.
You keep carrin' that anger, it'll eat you up inside.

Sunday

2008-08-10T18:43:00.002+08:00

starbucks today was kindda quiet. just my luck i guess :)) haha

getting bored of studying, elise and i was kindda like scribbling some names and silly things on the tissue paper. haha!
oops, i hope the PLAYA didnt know that it's him we were talking about when he picked them up. lols. orrrr worse.. could be the al*** or l-watever or the bi.

oh. who cares. haha!

and we decided that

WE ARE TOO HOT FOR NATIONAL EXAMS!

absolutely. gosh.

imagine, all these Os' and As' stuff are like killing us...

saturday

2008-08-10T00:59:00.002+08:00

i had my coffee been time today :(
because.... starbucks was way too packed! grrr. why must both JJ & AC start and end prelims at the same time? this makes starbucks fully booked this week!! argh!

and KEN. you must be very touched ya. i fought all my way to city hall just to get you your birthday present altho the crowd was like super crazy (cos of the ndp). hehe :)))

and the pasta today is NICEEE. hehe thanks i had fun people!

so tmr shall be my STARBUCKS TIME again. lets pray that theres some empty space ya haha!

cause i'm OVER YOU

2008-08-10T00:39:00.002+08:00

Now that it's all said and done,
I can't believe you were the one
To build me up and tear me down,
Like an old abandoned house.

What you said when you left
Just left me cold and out of breath.
I fell too far, was in way too deep.
Guess I let you get the best of me.

Well, I never saw it coming.
I should've started running
A long, long time ago.
And I never thought I'd doubt you,
I'm better off without you.

I'm picking up the pieces.
Putting my heart back together.
'Cause the day I thought I'd never get through,

I got over you...

excerpt - Chris Daughtry

uggghhhh

2008-08-08T16:53:00.002+08:00

It has been really really really looonggg since i met Alvin and my other old friends!
if only i dont have tuition todayyy :( ughhhh grrrr @#$%^&*!!!!

its just not the right time i guess...
i hate to watch a chance go by. haha

going for physics!

2008-08-08T01:06:00.002+08:00

studying at school today wf ken :)) a lot of works done! yey clap clap. haha.
actually, i miss school , that kindda fun and homey feelings. but what can i say :

I AM GRADUATING SOON!

i still dont know where i should do my degree :(

but oh gosh. UCLA is gorgeous i tell ya! i saw seokmin's photos and i went like "wow" haha! but being there, alone, starting a new life may not be that easy i know. and... i'll certainly misssss my frens here. gawd. even the thought of leaving them is so horrible.

I hate how you mess up with my head. my heart. my feelings.
quit it.

there's more to say. but its hurting me.

tell me the future will be even better

2008-08-06T00:51:00.003+08:00

wednesday already :(
time really flies but my physics is still on mechanics. I KNOW I KNOW. i am like supposed to be on nuclear or sth..
too hot to do physics! haha.

anyway, i had my starbucks time with hendry today ^^
as usual, we were like 'arguing' and haha-hihi, gigling, laughing... whatever u call it :))

we were alr very close ever since we got to know each other in sec 4 and we just realise sth.. WE ARE MISSING CIA! gosh.

i certainly missed the times where the three of us just kept playing in maths class, non-chalant about what the lesson was about. the times where we were just fooling around, made fun of each other... i hearts them!!

HEY BOY

2008-08-05T12:52:00.002+08:00

I want my own MR DARCY not some toyboy or mr childish

shadowfeet

2008-08-05T01:56:00.002+08:00

Walking, stumbling on these shadowfeet
Toward home, a land that I've never seen.
I am changing.
Less and less asleep.
Made of different stuff than when I began
And I have sensed it all along.
Fast approaching is the day.

When the world has fallen out from under me
I'll be found in you, still standing
When the sky rolls up and mountains fall on their knees
When time and space are through
I'll be found in you.

you make all things new...
GOD :)

Brooke Fraser

my DULL study break

2008-08-04T13:54:00.005+08:00

mug and mug and mug and mug and mug....
what can i say? i love mugging? RIGHT. HAHA

but indeed, life is full of surprises huh :))

vin : "millions of girls would die to be surprised by me"
me : " -.- "

haha. noob.

we are too different.
you are more than seen i am more than seemed.
i just think. i dont know you sometimes.

speechless

2008-08-03T12:28:00.012+08:00

GOSH. i was completely utterly absolutely shocked!
how can i not be?

i saw kelvin at my doorstep just as i was having my breakfast, just woke up from my sleep and reading the newspaper as per normal. haha :)
my guardian was like "yah, theres another boy coming in... from JJC too".

inside my heart i was praying. "impossible if its him. pls dont." then, there he was. i was stunned. speechless!!

HAHA. then he was like, 'can c that u r shocked'. i still couldnt believe my eyes.

and... he was wearing the same shirt. he went like "omigod i wore the same shirt" lols. didnt know that he cares so much bout what he wear. vain boy!

elise. ur curse came true afterall. i think i should stop calling people noob. its karma - again. haha

night out

2008-08-02T23:51:00.003+08:00

my sitemeter crashed with my blog whatever. uggh!

alrite. first of all, a very HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO KEN!! you have turned legal haha :)
all the best for As and prelims yah.

then to von, i love you. dun be scared gurl <33

i went mushroom pot to eat wf von, ming, ter, den, hen and tin. it has been long since the last time we met up yeaa. haha then... i went giraffe wf them. ugh, the martini sucks. poor hendry! haha

and... to wee kheng, junda, angela and ying ming. sorry i couldnt make it.

mug till you drop

2008-08-01T21:23:00.002+08:00

study break = intense mugging.

oh gosh. how i miss my j1 days!! time flies when you study in jc i guess. the xtra lessons and all (which were like till v late) keep you occupied that you just have no time to pause, reflect and enjoy.

i will certainly miss school very much after i graduate (or even during this coming study breaks) =(

and... I MISS HOME - a lot.
I even thought of flying back indo for the weekend to stay there for a couple of days. i really miss my home and the people (of course plus my baby, stanleyy!).

another thing. should i go LA to pursue my degree or should i stay in SG?
haha! US sounds like a lot of fun of course, but tis kelvin shocked me wf what spending SGD$20,000 for, only, food for a total of 7 people in just 3 days when he went there. LOLS.

but still. too cool to care. LA, CA & SF still have my vote. haha.

i love how you swing your back and said bye.
still. noob. wink.

entitled to you. noob.

2008-07-31T16:12:00.002+08:00

MATHS MOCK PRELIM is officially over!

hehe :) yey. i just realised how rusty my concepts on stats are. i was like, "hmm... how do i plot this. how do i do continuity correction!" lols. but i figured those out during the test itself. HAHA.

i always do this 'stunt' during my maths tests. altho it turns out well (at least for me) dont learn this bad habit, of not studying real well, ya people! haha.

It just does not make sense to see each other but did not talk.

yes you looked awkward,
and yes i hate how you know i was there but pretend i did not.
i dont understand.

or you really didnt know.
i dont care.

all i know is that you looked stupid.

noob. you ruined my day.

just my luck

2008-07-30T23:27:00.002+08:00

photo taking is cancelled and just my luck...todays weather is HORRENDEOUS! oh gawd.
how nice.

then elise and i are supposed to have our starbucks time today but we changed it to coffee bean at the end :)

i am getting tired.
physics physics,
how can i tame you tell me.

and... just found out that mr toyboy is so popular.
not bad at all huh :))
okayy 'nuff said. LOLS.

'lemme look at you till the sun sets, the day ends and i get bored.

what happen?

2008-07-29T15:20:00.007+08:00

i am so restless now :(
slept at 1.30, again, last night. OH... just when can i get a proper good night sleep!
eye bag eye bag, here you come again.

after sending bert to airport ystd, elise and i were studying at the airport. haha! so now you know why i look dead today. after skool, junda, wee kheng, wee leong and i went to eat BK at westmall. gosh. chocolate pie again. sinful. haha :)

and tmr...

CLASS PHOTO TAKING session.

dun forget your uniform plus tie people =))

study break is just around the corner :(

and so is prelim. ugghh!

school without you & you

will be so much boring...

a superhero for every girl

2008-07-29T00:35:00.001+08:00

I WANT A BATMAN TO COME AND SAVE ME

BRING ME AWAY.

stop and stare

2008-07-29T00:02:00.004+08:00

managed to meet daddy ray and albert today ^^ haha!
i was rushing like mad once i got home, ya know how slow i can be sumtimes.

took train home today cos i was rushing and all. guess what...
i met rui yu at commonwealth station!! lols.
i was sleeping so unglam-ly in the train (the results of sleeping at 2 am the night be4) and when i woke up, i was so blur, sitting there staring at the floor. then, wait.. isnt this JJ pants?

i looked up. there he was - standing just right in front of me.
HAHA. OH MY GAWD =)

THIS STARE-AND-SMILE GAME HAS JUST STARTED.
you get my thoughts going and caught my eyes rolling,
mr toyboy mr toyboy you just made my day.

but i still miss you the most...

if only thers no you

2008-07-28T00:02:00.003+08:00

omigosh. i really feel like skipping skool tmr!

whats with the so many homeworks left - not done :(
oh gawd. i am so dead.
gp compre, chem and maths tests.
and...
lit essay for lit consultation tmr after skool.

not that i mind writing the essay or having a consultation of course. the things is: i will b meeting dadddy ray and albert at 3 tmr!! gosh. tell me, just how can i make it on time.

my lovely "horse" haha - HEN

2008-07-26T22:20:00.002+08:00

i got my stilla summer palette! ^^ so excited to try!!

anyway, today, hendry is like so hmm.. how shld i put it. suey or lucky? haha. theres this girl who approched him at TCC. how brave! actually shes not bad.... but ya know, hen and his i-dont-fancy-chinese-singaporean-gurl. yah, so he texted me, complaining about this girl.

i called hen. initially i just wanted to talk to him so that he didnt hv to talk to the girl. but then, this idea popped up : i said "tell her you are talking to your gf". HAHA! then he said "bye darrlingg" to me. gosh!

then the girl was like asking him whther he loves me and all, before leaving hen for good - after giving him her number, mind you. lols. you lucky guy, hendry! :))

and... starbucks time is waiting! *wink

concept test

2008-07-26T09:58:00.003+08:00

i'll have my Nanyang Concept Test - chem - like in a few more hours.
gosh havent really study much haha! and skool is like... so far from my house :((

and...why must it be on saturday!! saturday is like dedicated to my starbucks time :) and i need to go town tonite. ughh. laziness hit me.

daddy ray will reach sg tmr and albert will reach only on mon, yay!
lunch, people ^^

anyone but you

2008-07-25T15:45:00.002+08:00

i didnt meet my mr toyboy today :( where are you. haha. but as usual, sch is FUN! hehe with all those people around me, boring is never the word.
anyway, thanks rui yu for accompanying me to do groceries shopping in NTUC. it'll be so boring if i am to do it alone :))

you just brighten up my day
with a simple hi...
i wonder why.

PS. i want you so badly.

the chains that bind

2008-07-24T17:41:00.003+08:00

HAHA. omg, i think i am cursed. how on earth can all *those people link together? scary huh.
gosh :) and as ken said, i prolly can hit 4Ds with those numbers. haha.

and... i did the O-M-G thing again today *blushed. geez, its really unthinkable that they are actually classmates! - never ever thought of that. or.. is this really karma? haha i am sorry then.

what's with that attitude.
when the dawn breaks the sun rises,
i yearn for you.
you are my ecstasy that keeps me going.
still,
i think i am dreaming...

my beautiful affair

2008-07-23T21:01:00.004+08:00

i just remember that nanyang concept test for chem will be on friday :( and so... no movie for me, no batman for me. i am so sorry, people.

anyways, today is such a good day!! haha. i had been avoiding him eyes cos its like so embarassing for me to look at him. but i met his eyes today! okay, 'nuff said mr toyboy :))

gosh. prelim is drawing closer.

it's hard to watch you from afar,
not having the chance to talk to you.
you are missed.

how now

2008-07-22T23:42:00.002+08:00

i am so loving UCLA (University of California, Los Angeles). haha dying to get there to see how its really like :))

apparently, its also one of the top business school in the US (which means the world). so yah vision set! hehe. but UC berkeley is also not bad. and i dun mind USF (Univ of San Fransisco) either. haha now, i dun have to worry that much for my As, having choices of uni to go to.

all those wonderful unis in the US just makes the unis here looked soo small and uninteresting. how now. mum asked me to go LA or seattle. but all those long airplane flights are already scaring me haha!

and talking out long flights...., albert will be back next week from canada! hehe. then i got to see your brand-new JUICY COUTURE bag , elise :))

how i wish i had chosen to go to the US after my Os (over JC). god. its like hell to study a level here :(

ooh. i am not supposed to lead this kindda stressful life! gimme a break already

my childish crush

2008-07-22T14:29:00.002+08:00

oops. i got it so wrong!! - like totally. haha :))
i really (i-was-like-so-confident) thought that *that friend of vin lives here. LIKE OMG. wrong! how stupid can i get. lols

but still... the design of the kitchen door looked the same. oh wells, never mind.

haha. so it was vin himself who saw me. okay, i dont remember. HAHA but i did have the 'i saw him before' kind of thought when i first met him at the airport (or prob the JJ k-box).
and thanks again for the 'clean the dust' idea for my iphone. it works! ^^

but then... i still get very irritated everytime i am about to sync my stupid iphone @#$%^&*!
timed out or wadeva it said.

fate is playing with us,
my hearts my feelings,
our chances.

i did wish it - dont get me wrong
but just..
i see no good ending to this story,
and i dont wanna break my heart your heart
us, none other.

your childlike replies,
your childish smiles,
and your i couldn't care-less attitude
is like a magnet to my heart.

i hate how fate is playing this game.
it hurts 'cos you are too good to be true.
i dont get you.

but deep down,
i know it will hurt more if you - ever -
ignore me.

and i know.
that other person. is. just. another toyboy.
who can never replace you,
my childish crush.

no time for monday blues

2008-07-21T17:42:00.005+08:00

ooh. my mr. toyboy is owned. or is he? haha
never mind then, next one already. lols.

physics test is like ughhh and ewww. oh gosh, how i hate hate hate physics so much. i really dont know how im gonna do my physics prelims ppr, which is like in 3 wks time :(
no time to play anymore, i cant go shopping, and i'll have no time to go *sightseeing in the sch (which is like not much in JJ haha wink.)

i heart prelims. [read: hate]

my stupid iphone just wont charge now. @#$%^&*!

and haha! i am sorry, vin. okay, you still look good but your new hair... is another thing.

no offence yah of what i said today :))

PS. jangan marah donk, vin.

run run run run run :)

2008-07-20T19:53:00.002+08:00

Run run running ran...
23 laps : 9.2 km completed.

oh my god. it was scorching hot this morning when i ran my laps. yah but overall, it was fun to run - as usual. but i think my leg muscle will be so bad it'll be hard for me to even walk tmr. haha! :))

and gosh. i went holland then i just realised i wasnt feeling very well so i went back home and rest :( zomg, my study plan is ruinedd!!!
i think its because i didnt take a proper breakfast be4 i ran and i was like rushing the whole time to go holland once i reached home. haha! stupid me.

physics... i am so dead.
i hate to say that i actually hate physics - like

this much.

starbucks time

2008-07-19T00:13:00.002+08:00

starbucks time again :)
and guess what, i met ren zheng, like - again haha. and this time i tried to hide my face and all cos i was hving my bad hair day and i had this face which screamed, i-look-wasted-cos-i-just-had-my-maths-mock-prelim-and-it-lasted-for-3-hours. gosh!

but yah, he found out it was me so he went like "gosh helga, is that you?" and i just replied him with a 'hmm' (i guess, i forgot what i said haha.) then yah, so we saw each other.

he was so nice and all. (before he went home) he treated me like a lil sister as he said "study hard yah. jia you" with his decent smile haha! thanks, that was so sweet :))
was quite stunned when he said "jia you" haha. cos i always thought that he is a 'very english' AC guy. lols!

i really feel guilty and am really sorry for mr wee. i texted him an apology just cos i couldnt bring myself to tell him face to face (saw how watery his eyes was, how red his face was, how outta place he looked)

iamsorry :( i would try my best to make you proud.

classic moment

2008-07-17T19:42:00.002+08:00

nowadays, school has become soooo boring. okay not that bad actually :) (considering i have wonderful classmates and people around me) but still, its like the same feeling when i was in sec sch - go sch for nth and so everything just seemed to b so boring. haha!

i miss j1 days :( where we would do crazy things in class together, fool around, talking crap all the time. okay its not like we didnt do all that anymore these days, its just that... the kind of intense a level feeling is haunting me... i guess lols.

anyway, i met vin with his intense gaze this afternoon. haha! he walked pass me as i was entering the canteen. i said "never treat me ah... [he still owes me a bdae treat! haha]" (in indo, as he was carrying an instant noodle) and so he gave me his usual blank-gaze-plus-iamcool-smile. lols!
and so we walked pass each other, keep gazing at each other's eyes as we turned. so classic! - but also at the same time : stupid moment boy. HAHA.

skool has become so uninteresting these days, esp because i dun get to meet my mr. toyboy. haha *eyes rolled.

maths mock prelim is tomorrow!! gosh. work hard.

when stress comes

2008-07-14T17:21:00.003+08:00

its monday again. gosh, time passes quickly, isnt it? it just seems like yesterday when i was in j1 and now.... only 3 more weeks to prelim :(
i dont know how i am going to face prelim or ALEVEL seriously. i am like soooo dead.

j1 maths seems alien to me, i suck at inorganic and physical chem and i know nothing for some j2 phy topics. god. i should just go lock myself up and mug real hard. if only, i can go starbucks and study there everyday. it will be good! haha.

still... my days seem so gloomy and i feel like saying, i cant do this anymore i am giving up. sigh. no i cant do that. i know dont worry people :)

yah but cheer up! my birthday celebration is coming :))
i am not gonna let prelim ruins it lols. but too bad den is going back indo for some family matters and hen may have his stupid skool camp on that day.

okay, you guys better tell me the truth and dont try to do plan sth funny on my birthday!! haha =)
or is this a revenge for not going to u guys bdae party last year? hope not *fingers crossed. LOLS

i am curiousssss

2008-07-13T22:38:00.002+08:00

my weekend is burnt-again. but its not that bad afterall, studying for like 8 hours straight. what i am afraid of is that i might get a diabetes or getting real fatt!! HAHA. because i keep drinking all kinds of LATTE OR FRAPPE and eating lots and lots of MUFFIN, BAGEL BLA BLA BLA. gosh! starbucks is just so addictive. i mean the holland v one strictly speaking! :))
now we have our own insider jokes there! (to elise, *wink wink) lols. we r like the regular customers now haha!

i coincidentally found out kelvin's friend who stayed in the same condo as me ystd. haha he is... okayy, so he saw me before or so he told vin. but hmm, i dun even have any idea -AT ALL - that he stays here. haha prob we should have met somewhere in the condo huh. lols.

but really, i am just very curious to know. why didnt i ever see him when i am going to sch in the morning then? or when i am going home? and another thing he didnt know any of my guy friends staying here. okay, lots of question mark!! haha never mind boy.